Thursday 11th March: Not so Vogue

After recently watching The September Issue, I've wanted to buy an edition of American Vogue to see just how good it is, given Anna Wintour's supposed credentials.

Just over 100 pages in (including six pages for the cover) I reached the first 'editorial', if you can actually call a 'Contents' page; rather it was the first non-advert page I had come across.

Another 25 pages, including an 8-page pullout-style advert, I was greeted with the next 'Contents' page. I was slightly less annoyed as there was a picture of Robert Pattinson staring out at me, and he gave me incentive to continue.

But 40 pages later and yet another 'Contents' page, I was losing the will. By this stage, I was about a third of the way through the magazine and hadn't read a thing!

Ten pages later, and the FOURTH 'Contents' page is upon me, and at this stage I look at the cover of the magazine again thinking I must have picked up an edition of 'This isn't a magazine, just a selection of model pictures', March 2010 edition.

Sixteen pages later (with an ad for The September Issue thrown in), and I'm now on page 198, reading the first bit of editorial, which just happens to be the 'Letter from the editor'.

I don't know what I was expecting, maybe an apology from Anna Wintour for editing a magazine that was nothing of the sort - no wonder she's still got a job there, she only edits about six pages. You can't even read the full editor,why bother putting it on one page when you can split it in two and get eight more pages of adverts between the first and second half?

Thereafter, I folded down the pages of the strictly editorial content (ie, not the letters, not the comments from the readers, not the contributors). The first proper piece of editorial came from Sophie Dahl, on page 266 - that is just over HALFWAY through the 528 page magazine.

After seeing so many adverts, I didn't have the capacity to read. Moreover, I didn't have enough saliva in my mouth to help me turn another page.

In total, I had 22 corners turned down representing editorial on a 528 page magazine, all for a fiver. I could have gone to Sainsburys and bought a book full of words for that.

At least I'm no longer intrigued by the enigma that is Anna Wintour, what bemuses me more is the American pubic, because they're the ones who are clearly accepting such a rip off from the magazine they buy.

To quote Wintour herself: "Just because you like to put on a beautiful XXXX coat, or a pair of XXXX jeans, it doesn't mean you're a dumb person."

No, what makes them dumb is if they put on the coat and pair of jeans and they're carrying a copy of Amercian Vogue.